The only constant in global climate is change. Man’s impact on climate can be debated until the cows come home, which is a subject I’d like to address in this article. But wherever you come down on this issue, the preservation of our environment is an extremely important endeavor.

We need clean water, breathable air and safe food. We are supposed to be stewards of the earth, but we haven’t done a very good job. Unfortunately our attempts at cleaning up the environment have been counterproductive in many cases. In a strange way there is humor in some of the techniques put in practice by our “best and brightest” scientists. Let's get to the cows.

The Telegraph from the U. K. had a series of interesting articles on the study of cows and their production of methane gas. Methane gas is considered a potent greenhouse gas said to be 20 times as potent as carbon dioxide, although methane gas tends to get less attention.

Cows have a unique system of four stomachs and their cud is called “rumen”, hence the term “rumination”. A cow’s slow digestive system makes the bovine a key producer of methane gas. The latest from the scientific community is an interesting and perhaps even ridiculous experiment. Scientists connect plastic tanks, almost as large as the cow itself, to the back of cows in order to collect methane gas. Forget how they hook it up, but aside from looking ridiculous, this huge tank on top of a cow could present a danger to smokers in the vicinity. I wouldn’t be surprised if each farm involved in this experiment would be required to have a fire marshal on the premises.

Argentine researchers claim that the methane from cows contributes 30% of the country’s total greenhouse gas emissions. Since Argentina is one of the largest beef producers in the world with more than a few cows grazing contently on pampas grasslands, this could be an explosive situation.

Some scientists are putting cows on a diet of clover and alfalfa instead of grain. This is said to reduce methane emissions by 25%. Other scientists are breeding cows that burp less to reduce greenhouse gas and global warming. So far no one has thought to put Beano in the feed bins.

If cows are this bad for the environment, perhaps we have the answer to the extinction of the dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are huge. Methane gas is explosive. One lightening strike would do it. But it may not be all bad news when it comes to the hapless cow. Chinese scientists say that livestock may be good for the environment, because cows grazing on grass lands may reduce nitrous oxide, which is another greenhouse gas. This gas is produced in grasslands where happy cows graze.

You may be familiar with nitrous oxide, also known as laughing gas used by dentists. I remember sharing this stuff with my dentist friend. We were both laughing until he drilled the wrong tooth. And could it be that Laughing Cow cheese comes from those giggling cows exposed to nitrous oxide? I’m getting carried away here…

Obviously more research is required on the subject of methane gas. In the meantime enjoy your burger, but spit out the lettuce.


by Ralph Higgins
ralphhiggins.com
jralphhiggins@gmail.com